i swear i didn't do it

this was waiting for me in the driveway this morning.

umm...

cold weather or cat, i don't know. when we first moved in there was a neighborhood cat that used to leave mice near our doorstep. i always thought it was his way of letting us know he was doing us a favor. cool. but look at the little limbs...seems like he froze to death or something. i dunno.

of course now the question is, who is gonna dispose of the body?

not me, son. not me.

i hope nobody runs over it when they park this evening.

killing you hoes

so after a lovely saturday evening of bootleg dvds and coconut rum, i returned home to a mouse in my kitchen. my intention was to reset all the clocks in the kitchen (two microwaves - don't ask - and the stove). however, while i was resetting the first microwave clock i heard a shuffle and in my peripheral vision i saw the foul rodent zip into an undetectable-by-the-human-eye opening in the stove. IN THE STOVE!! the one we (we=my mama...don't ask!) use to cook our meals! needless to say i never made it over to change the last two clocks.

i was so disgusted i stayed in my room all day sunday. i avoided the kitchen at all costs (i did finally have to eat and i don't eat in my room because umm hello?!). but then i swore i heard something crawling around in the walls. umm...eww.

now, i've read on apartment therapy recently about other ppl dealing with their own tiny marsupial issues...bandying about humane ways of ridding their homes of these nasty little creatures. pardon my french but fuck that! somebody's got to die! right now i'm all about the d-con and i am not above leaving bodies around the perimeter to send a message to the rest of little homie's crew. i'd get a cat if we all weren't allergic. i'd really like to call an exterminator (my ss's fine exterminator in particular) but we'll see how the d-con works first.

turkey lurkey, loosie goosie

it's relatively quiet at work today. lots of closed doors with darkened windows. rain is falling with persistence and there's a turkey in my boss's window. yup...a turkey. he seems to be stuck on the ledge and scared to come down. we're all baffled as to how he got up there in the first place. i've mentioned elsewhere all the wildlife we have here on campus - lots of turkeys (some were pecking at my co-worker's car), plenty of groundhogs, deer of course, a fox or two, and most recently a bear. boy, am i glad i missed the bear.

there's rehearsal tonight and i'm not sure if my presence is needed. i've been assisting my sister with the choreography of a sweet sixteen dance performance. by assist i mean switch songs on cue. no, really i helped a little bit with the choreography but for rehearsals i play the music and make minimal suggestions. the dance is done now and all that's left really is cleaning it up and getting the girls to perform BIG. most of them are on 5 and they need to be at 10. they're all really good dancers though. i'm proud of them like they're my own children even if i can't remember most of their names.