i swear i didn't do it

this was waiting for me in the driveway this morning.

umm...

cold weather or cat, i don't know. when we first moved in there was a neighborhood cat that used to leave mice near our doorstep. i always thought it was his way of letting us know he was doing us a favor. cool. but look at the little limbs...seems like he froze to death or something. i dunno.

of course now the question is, who is gonna dispose of the body?

not me, son. not me.

i hope nobody runs over it when they park this evening.

vampire kitty

so last night/this morning i had a really odd dream sequence. the oddest part happened when i was in a hospital room with a sick kitten (was it an animal hospital or a real hospital?) and the doctor kept repeating "he has no penis" but when i looked the kitten over (btw, this was the most adorable tiny little sickly kitten i'd ever seen. huge sad kitty eyes and all)...when i looked the kitten over there was a tiny little kitty penis under his neck. weird, right? so while i'm wondering why the dr keeps saying the cat has no penis when i see it plain as day under his neck i'm also wondering why it's under his neck and who did this awful penis transplant to him. then the cat suctions his mouth onto my left forearm and it feels like he's sucking my blood...OR MY SOUL...one or the other but i'm all like fruitcake (take of me...i feel nothing). once he's done sucking on me i break out in hives all over and say "see, i'm allergic so i can't take him home. although i really want to." then carla from scrubs says, "fine, i'll take him home with me."

there were other scenes like me having a physical altercation with a female co-worker resulting in some sort of mutual understanding and some other stuff i don't remember clearly. the vampire kitty, however, is forever etched in my brain.

in other news: five more days until i can eat fried foods again. next year i hope to give up something more meaningful for lent.