they're all gone

this photo was taken after my grad school commencement ceremony. the three people pictured here with me were my closest friends during college and beyond -- our little jersey crew. they have all passed away.

i met warren and kyle my freshman year of college. one of my roommates was dating their friend and we'd all hang out on the wknds. warren was the oldest friend i'd had at that point so i used to call him "uncle warren" just to annoy him. kyle was really skinny and fond of singing/rapping along loudly to whatever warren was playing in his bronco.

i first met kira the summer before ninth grade. we were in a summer science program together at at&t. we would go on to be friends in high school since we had a lot of classes together and we ended up going to the same college and grad school. we weren't really close until college where i became her unofficial roommate first semester sophomore year (she had a single and i lived off campus) and official roommates from junior year through grad school.

we experienced a lot together -- all of us. good times and bad times. good relationships and bad relationships. a whole lot of fun though. even as each of us branched off into our own things we still all kept in touch.

kyle died first. i can't even remember what year...i wanna say 2001. it was cancer. i remember the last time i spoke to him on the phone we joked about his chemo. i asked him if he still had hair on his ass and he said he did...lol. it was kira who called to tell me he had passed. i didn't make it to his funeral.

warren had a heart attack in 2003. kyle's girlfriend called to tell me and i had to call kira. it was too much for her so she didn't make the service. i had to go though...it was my very first funeral. out of all of them i was probably closest to warren. he was like a brother to me and i could talk to him about anything. he used to clown my boyfriends and wash my car for free at his detailing spot. i still miss him so much.

kira passed two weeks ago. two days after giving birth to her first child. i blogged about attending her wedding last year and her baby shower in april. i'm still not exactly sure how it happened but i was devastated by the news. her funeral was harder than i thought it would be. seeing her family grieving was so heartbreaking because i know firsthand how close they all are. i just can't believe she's gone.

i feel some kind of way about all of them being gone. i never imagined they wouldn't be here with me. i can't even wrap up this entry with some they'll always be with me cliche because i'm still processing.

i really do miss them all.